Do you find yourself feeling as though you and your spouse are ships passing in the night? If you’re anything like us, we’re forever crossing paths on his way to work or kids’ activities. It seems that the housework is never done and that there is never time for us to sit back and focus on us. Balancing marriage and kids can be tricky, but with practice it can be done! Here are some great ideas on how to balance your time between marriage and kids.
5 Tips to Balance Your Time Between Marriage and Kids
1. Find ways to remind your husband that you care.
When things get crazy-busy at home, it’s tough to remember to go the extra step to show your husband that you care. Getting yourself in the habit of making one extra lunch in the morning (to send with him) or slipping the occasional “love coupon” in a place that you know it will only be found by him will serve as a reminder that you care.
We love to leave inside-reminders for each other; things that are significant only to the two of us. He leaves my favorite candy, I leave a silly reminder of a trip that we took together. Doing things for each other that are meaningful only to us helps to remind us of the connection that we have.
2. Make a point of laughing together.
Life gets pretty stressful sometimes. Between grown-up responsibilities and the demands of family, it sometimes feels as though you can choose to laugh or cry…. Choose to laugh! Whether it’s over the newest habit of one of your children, or over something goofy that you see on you tube, find ways to experience joy together.
We’ve found a few key phrases to use with each other to trigger the laughter. When things get tough, all it takes is one of our reminders to help us both laugh and lighten up a little bit.
3. Put date night on the calendar.
If your calendar looks like ours it, no doubt, is chock-full of homeschool lessons, appointments, and other activities. One way to make sure that you and your spouse remember to include time for the two of you in the mix, schedule a romantic date night at home the same way you would any appointment. When you schedule it you don’t need to know what you’ll do with your evening out…just that you’ll be doing it together.
When it comes time to plan, talk with each other, plan the fun and build anticipation for the time that you deserve to spend together.
4. Schedule the occasional night away.
Planning time away with your spouse doesn’t mean having to get on a plane and heading across the country. It could be as simple as having the kids stay with family and visiting a nearby city. A day spent together away from the stressors of home, combined with waking up on your own time and having a leisurely breakfast can be great for the soul and for reminding one another about the relationship that you share.
We aim to find time to get away for a night every few months. Sometimes we combine it with weddings we’re attending or other out-of-town commitments. One thing we have found, however, is that it’s great for focusing on our marriage.
5. Demonstrate your feelings for one another.
As any parents do, we make a point of letting our kids know that they are the center of our universe. We work to nurture them and to let them know that they are loved. That being said, it’s also important that they see the bond that we share with one another and the love that we put into our marriage.
We demonstrate our feelings for each other through hugs and quick kisses. We have pictures of our wedding on display in our home and talk about what a special event that was for us. When one of us comes home, we make a point of saying hello to our spouse, not just to the kids. The small daily habits that we have speak volumes to those around us about the relationship that we share.
Do you have other ideas on how to balance time between marriage and kids? Please share what has worked for you and your spouse.