The Truth About Homeschooling {and a recap of our first week}


 
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welcome

I am so glad that you are here and are choosing to finally discover the hidden truth about homeschooling.

Whether you are a parent discerning whether or not homeschooling is right for your family, or a veteran homeschooling mom just trying to find solutions to some issues within your homeschool, I am happy to finally shed some light on a major issue affecting the homeschooling world right now.

The Truth About Homeschooling

 

Chances are you already know what I am about to tell you. In fact, I am 99% sure you do!

The problem is, no one wants to talk about it. But it is time. Time to stop the pretending. Time to start being real. Hiding the truth isn’t helping anyone.

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This Post Has 35 Comments

  1. Yes, it is hard. This article is fabulous. I think I’m glad I didn’t know how hard it was when I started. I might have thought it was all up to me, and I couldn’t do it. God told me early, “I know you can’t do it, you never could, but I CAN. Keep your eyes on me. I did know God called us to it. And now at the other end I think back to the math tears…the whining, the chore struggles, the attitudes that needed adjusting, especially mine, and I think, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. As a matter of fact, it was the most amazing thing next to birthing them. We learned that we could get through it together. And as Mothers we learned Jesus’ truth of ‘without me you can do NOTHING’. This isn’t just about education or we would have sent our kids off to school a long time ago. This is about discipliship. God has called us to make disciples. And, when you consider what He was willing to pay for our discipleship, He had a few tears too. It’s a big job. And, I don’t see God getting on to Him for it. Tears are the times when we are taking our difficulties to our Heavenly Father, and He gives us good counsel. Tears are when our kids are experiencing frustration, and we are teaching them to be able to learn to handle trials, and work through them, persevering. Much like childbirth, the outcome is well worth the work. My Dad always said, ‘hard work pays off’. Was he ever right. Looking at our family now, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My one piece of advice. If you forgot to take a few days to talk to God about your school year, STOP now before you waste another day. Tell your kids it’s teachers conference time for two days, set them up with some toys, books, games or chores, and seek God. There is no substitute for this. NONE! God knit your children in the womb, He knows each one intimately and their future. We don’t. So it’s sheer folly not to spend a good amount of time sitting at his feet asking Him what His plan is for the year. Pray also with your husband, and ask for His prayer for the things that concern you for the year. You would not believe how the burden lightens in just this step. While my husband wasn’t in the nuts of bolts of homeschool, that time when we prayed for our year lifted the weight off my shoulders, because I was NEVER meant to bear it, though unwisely I tried to at times. The same God that Created the Universe with a Word, created these beautiful seasons and sunsets we see on a daily basis, is creating a masterpiece in our lives and the lives of our family. He is completing His Work of passing on the baton of faith generation to generation. HE IS FAITHFUL. And, He promised to never leave nor forsake you. So head boldly for that throne of grace for mercy and grace to help in time of need. Creation’s majesty tells us He can do more than we can think or imagine! Have a blessed year Mom. Remember the promise of Psalm 1. Read it every day for a month with your kids or alone, ‘everything you do will prosper’…God’s fingerprints are all over it.

    1. Yes!! Thank you for your kind words and wisdom! Blessings to you and your family!

    2. We are on our 15th? 16th? year of homeschooling and I can testify that God indeed is faithful. It really isn’t about our abiltiy, but about relying on Him and trusting Him. The above reply is exactly right!

    3. beautiful testimony – you are awesome and definitely are walking with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ – Thank you for raising disciples that will be in the same world as my own young disciple – God Bless You and Your Family

  2. Our best days are always ones that began with prayer and\ or devotions.

  3. I have found that easing into a school year really helps. I just start a couple weeks earlier and begin with one or two “easy” or fun subjects. Then I gradually add a little more until we are back to full days. It makes everything go so much smoother for us. Trying to go back to full days right away, at least for us, is a guaranteed disaster. Everyone is angry, yelling, frustrated, and/or crying by the end of the day, including me. No thanks! I learned my lesson. Never again! Gradual reintroduction works wonders for us. ?

  4. Hi, I’m a homeschooling mother of an 8 yr old boy. I also have a toddler to keep an eye on all day. This is my second year homeschooling. Yes, it is hard. But remember that homeschooling is not school at home, it’s learning at home. There is a difference. Our first year was really hard (that was only last year). I didn’t get everything done and that put a lot of stress on me. I was following the K12 online partially offline curriculum that is common core aligned. But after praying countless times and changing the curriculum for this year, it’s better! Our days are not perfect. Some days are great and I feel proud of us. And some days I wonder where my sanity is. But at the end of the day, month, year… I feel in my heart that we’re doing just fine. So don’t give up even when you feel defeated. I’d be glad to hear you vent anytime email me at jbencosme88@aol.com

  5. One of my sweet friends here in Greensboro posted this link on our FB group. I realize, five years in, that I’ve undersold to my non-homeschool friends how hard it is to homeschool. I’ve wanted to be positive and upbeat about it and communicate that it’s a decision I’m glad we’ve made. But, at the same time, I realize I’ve created an image that I have gobs of time on my hands. I’m going to work on crafting an answer to people about what a joy it is, but how it’s incredibly humbling and time-consuming.

  6. Honestly, I have always felt like I have this secret that this is too easy. Maybe it is because I’m an older mom now. Maybe it is because I’ve sent my older kids through public school and didn’t get the results promised. Maybe it is because several of my kids have special needs. I don’t know. I just know I would trade the last 16 years for anything. I think you need to step back and figure out what is important. To me that is family relationship first and academics second. Do they do math every day? You betcha, on most days they do. But we changed math curriculum until we found one that they loved. We ease into school each year. We always take spring break and usually take a short trip. We always take December and learn about God’s birth more intimately. One of my middle kids died almost two years ago. I started homeschooling her in middle school. I would not trade those years or our relationship now for ANYTHING. Try not to be so hard on yourself. God will lead you and lead your children into the lives he has planned for you. You just need to love your kids and stand back and see what HE has planned. No two homeschools should look alike. Find your kids passions and fuel them. Take time to smell the roses. None of us knows what tomorrow brings.

    1. Sorry, typo, wouldn’t trade the last 16 years.

    2. beautiful. Thanks for your thoughts. <3 So very sorry about your loss. That is one of the reasons I am homeschooling. My daughter has health issues and one never knows. I don't want to be jealous of all the time she spends in the classroom. Probably selfish on my end, but honestly I don't care. 🙂

  7. Wow wow wow… yesterday, I threw in the towel… I decided that after 2years I just cannot do it anymore… Nobody has ever told me that it would be this hard… I have cried, I have locked myself in my room, I have even threaten to run away for a day just to relax my mind…. Lord Jesus help me, help us…. please please talk me out of sending my son back to public school, plz tell me that this will get better, we will get better, PLEASE. .. Say a prayer for us over here…

    1. Krystal- I am definitely praying for you right now. It WILL get better. It always does. Sure, bad days will still come….but the end result makes up for a bad day any day of the week. Look at how much of your son’s life you will miss if you send him back to public school. That is what keeps me going. Childhood goes by too quickly anyway..I don’t want to miss anything that I don’t have to. You can do this. Well, actually, no. You can’t do this…but with God, you can. Cling to Him.

      1. Thank you so so much Heather for those words of encouragement. You have no idea how bad they are needed… You are so right, I don’t want to miss a minute of his life. I have 3 kids 17, 10, and 1… My 17 year old is a senior this year in public school. I still want to be around them 24/7/365… I think I just made the decision to send him back at a frustrating moment.. I know that God has our back 100% and we are believing in Him to turn it around… Again, thank you so much Heather and God Bless….

    2. Krystal, it sounds like it’s time for a break. This week we’ve taken our “March Break” and the kids have enjoyed their time off. I don’t know what type of a schedule you use, but sometimes when the going is tough then it’s time for a break. Maybe you need a teacher day (kids have no class for 1 day and you work on school planning/grading, etc.) or your family is ready for a few days off (take them, plan 1 special activity and spend the rest of the time doing stuff at home or whatever you want/need). I’m praying for you right now and your kids to have a blessed weekend.

      1. A break is exactly what I needed… it can get very overwhelming at times… I just gotta pray my way through this. . Thank you..

  8. I take it this is kinda like a post on nursing. That for a LOT of people it is hard, but for us weird few it isn’t, and we just think — why are we so weird that we can’t relate? Good to see other’s perspective. I’ll file this away for the days to come when it does become hard. We’re only in 1st, Kinder and prek homeschooling, so I imagine the hard stuff is coming on down the road. o.O yey.

  9. Great article Heather, My children grew up, as hard as it was, as difficult the many years, it was worth it. The children have grown up to be fine, responsible adults. Their life choices are based on the values that were learned at home. Academically they were in the 90th percentile in testing. Young mothers be encouraged, you’re doing a fine job. My only regret, is that I didn’t have more children. (only five).

  10. I completely agree with you. It’s so refreshing to hear you say that to try and do this on our strength alone is near impossible, but yet when we add God’s strength into the mix it is a bit easier. I have been blessed with the chance to review the Homeschool Mom’s Bible and think every believer who is a homeschool mom should have this Bible handy! It truly HELPS keep everything into perspective.

    Great post and very well stated. You didn’t sound whiny (like I would have!) and you still got a strong point across.

  11. Oh my STARS!!! Did you sit on my porch and spy on our day(s)!!?? You could not have been more spot on. I’ve uttered those same “I cannot do this one more day”s several times from my own bathroom.
    It is only God’s clear direction and continued confirmation that has kept me going, marching headlong into His new mercies each morning.
    THANK you for being brave enough to let our perverbial cat out of the bag.

  12. Yes, we just had a horrible week after two weeks off due to the flu and I just wanted to quit and I just cried and cried and prayed. So we took today off and I am just letting the girls do what they want. And all is peaceful! And I am spending a few hours doing something I want to do today… And then I will get back “up” and try again next week.

    Thank you for sharing and reminding me that this isn’t easy for others either and I am NOT a LOOSER!

  13. My Cousin and his Wife have nine children and all are being homeschooled (he has a full-time outside job) I often worry and wonder how they are and the answer is because her heart is 1000% with Jesus they are all happy healthy thriving – connecting with other likeminded homeschooling parents along with field trip and park days is also a lifesaver – my own Son has had a rather I like to say eclectic education – four years of private Catholic School then two years homeschooled with the guidance of a local public school where all materials assignments were given along with turning in said assignments each week and the option of attending one day of school each week – my husband and I tag teamed whereby he taught the math and science and I did language reading and religion (the religion was something I added and not part of the curriculum of course) it has been my belief if the United States would bring God and religion back to the schools the homeschooling percentage would drop – not that homeschooling is bad in any way – in fact every single parent should experience it with their child at least one year preferably all the years – anyway onward as I have digested – my Son then attended a private Christian Middle School which was like a little house on the prairie atmosphere – one room schoolhouse and he loved it and did well – he is now in public high school getting straight A’s – is a practising Catholic and normal teenager
    Remember you have the “Master” “Wonder” “Counseler” alongside you as you homeschool yours and his beloved children What more could you ask for – As soon as I prayed to have the “will to do His will” everything fell in place
    Lastly a very wise Teacher advised me when I mentioned a child in Homeschool is not receivng “socialization”. She laughed and said “A child needs and wants their own parent during the formative years and that is a myth” “Children learn to socialize in one day in later school or work situations”
    May I also add that knowing his strengths and weaknesses allowed me to tailor and concentrate in areas I knew he needed to work harder – also being able to work at their own pace is invaluable as well as teaching each other. To be honest I was skeptical and unsure I was up to the task of teaching even with a College Degree – when I was able to see the results of the time and thought I put into his homeschool years such as knowing he had difficulty with spelling and playing lots of spelling games and working very hard at it he excelled in spelling in the Christian Middle School – yay me -lol – actually all Glory to God the Father

  14. Wow! I really needed to read this. We are close to completing our first year of homeschooling after several years in private school. I am finding that, like my 3 kids, i am eagerly awaiting spring break. I feel burned out on multiplication tables, writing assignments and all the drama that comes with it. Thank you for reminding me why I finally answered God’s calling and to remember Him and embrace Him every single day. Our days won’t all be great, but they will be better because of our great father and teacher.

  15. We are in our eighth year of homeschooling, and as much as I hate to admit it there were days in the early years that I was this close to giving up. Then we went through a really difficult time (a late term loss) that happened right in the middle of a school year and kind of derailed everything. I was beating myself up for letting everything fall apart and not being a supermom when amazing aunt and fellow homeschool mom told me that it’s okay to give ourselves grace sometimes. Even if it’s not a major catastrophe that throws us out of groove, we all have times when we need to let the schedules and expectations fall by the wayside for just a little while. It totally changed my view of this homeschooling thing. It also helps me to remember that I don’t HAVE to do this, I GET to. It is through God’s grace that I have these incredible children. I’m not answering a higher calling by schooling them, it is just another perk of his beautiful and unending grace.

  16. Thank you sooooooo much for this! I am getting ready to add my second child to our homeschooling (have been homeschooLing my oldest for two years) and he happens to be the one who gives me the hardest time. and then next year my daughter will be with us as well. that thought overwhelms me. I have been really soul searching for what is the best route for me and the kids. the thought of putting them in public school appalls me but the thought of the three of them as my pupils freaks me out lol. this really helped seal my decision and keep pushing foward with what I know I have been called to do. you’re right. no one ever told me how emotional homeschooling is for the mom but i know with God’s help is will be so worth it in the end.

  17. Homeschooling CAN be hard, but I would question WHY it is hard. If it is hard because I am forcing my will on my children, rather then guiding them or inspiring them to discover the things they are wired to learn, then I would feel I have got the wrong end of the stick of what education is all about.
    Kids have to want to learn & the more I find it hard, the more I can tend to force. The biggest release I found was reading about unschooling. “The Unschooling Handbook” is the best release to the school conditioning model. Well worth the read. I don’t think we are meant to mimic school at home. Although I don’t completely unschool I have discovered there are SO MANY aspects of it that ring true in relation to how children learn that I am now keeping it in mind, especially on the ‘bad’ days.

  18. Wow… this is so me… so many times I have told myself… why am doing this? Yes, it has never been a smooth journey for us. I have even told myself that I am not even a qualified teacher to do this and yet here we are still doing what the Lord has called us to do. Thank you for this article… it is truly through the grace of God that we are still keep on keeping on. I know I have shed so many tears thinking that I am a horrible mother because I have got kids who would not do what they are told to do and would whine and dawdle with their school work… I feel so bad that sometimes I would blame myself and be hard on myself. Thank you for the assurance that I have never been alone in this journey. Thank you that this has blessed my heart.

  19. Wow!! Thanks for being honest and vulnerable, both I believe aren’t easy for us homeschooling moms, and especially those that call ourselves Christians. Heck! We are supposed to have it all together, right? Wrong! We are supposed to hold onto the One, who has it all together. I think we become comfortable, complacent, and passive, which can all lead to us falling flat on our face. I’ve learned over the 22 years that I’ve homeschooled that, when I am down on my face, there’s no better time to cry out to the Father begging His forgiveness for believing we could do it alone and leaving Him behind. It’s only on our knees that we learn to look up and I believe the Father allows us to get to these points so that He can bring us back to Him.

    This happened to me in 2014, when I suddenly became bedridden and wheelchair bound due to several diseases I have with my spine. I gave up homeschooling once this happened because I believed there was no way I could homeschool my last 2 boys any longer. The Lord had other plans and He allowed us to have one of our worst school years while my boys went to public school and I tried to manage the issues the boys kept having all year, that included bullying by teachers and both boys being sicker than they had ever been. I was so stressed out and depressed and one day, after the boys got off the bus and one was crying because his teacher had yet again told him that he was never going to amount to much, I got on my knees by my bed and literally cried out my prayer to the Father asking for help. The answer I got was to bring them home right then, but they only had a little more than a month left, yet The Lord was clear and so I didn’t send the boys back to school and they’ve been home ever since.

    I learned in that year that I can’t homeschool in my own strength but I can if The Lord is in charge and I’m leaning on him everyday. It hasn’t been easy to homeschool while being bedridden and in pain 24/7. I would never suggest anyone else in my shoes homeschool unless they are willing to let The Lord lead because it won’t work any other way. Homeschooling is hard no matter what your circumstances are but we need to quit being super moms and lay down our pride so God can be glorified. I can tell you from personal experience that pretending that it isn’t hard takes so much more effort than being honest and saying it does and asking for help.

  20. I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! Thank you so much for the encouragement and inspiration to want to continue wanting to homeschool! I LOVED your joke about the school bus mocking you! I made me laugh out loud! ???

  21. Last year was like that for me. My daughter was in 7th(ish) grade and it seemed like most days were a struggle for both of us. Some how we made it through as we always do, but I have to admit I was a little apprehensive starting 8th(ish) grade. But it has turned out to be great so far. My daughter has even told me more than once that she is enjoying this year. Crazy! Yet totally makes it all worth while.

  22. Thank you for this article. I agree, we are also in our 6th year with a new ‘official’ student. We’re a family of 7 kids with hecka crazy schedule including music class 6 days a week in the next county. At first, I thought I was losing my mind but now I know I am because crazy is the new normal! My family is blessed beyond the madness but my experience with HS is much like this article portrays, I decided to write a book about it. My book is a middle grade fiction read called: Holme Days: Bitter Bites, a story about a homeschool family that learns to overcome bitterness through hope in God. It just released last week on Amazon! Thanks again to bringing ‘real’ back to real life at home.

  23. This was so awesome! Thank you for sharing this post!! I just starting homeschooling my 2 year old and I have a long way to go. It all seems overwhelming sometimes but I know I can do it! Definitely with help from the Lord! ?

  24. We just completed our first year of homeschooling and I’ve learned that Homeschooling is a complete sacrifice. Many days I question if it’s the right thing to do! But like you said, I’ve to remind myself that God has called me to it and that HE will carry me through it.

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Hi, there! I’m Heather Bowen, and I am so glad you’re here.

My passion lies in helping homeschool moms balance marriage, motherhood, homemaking, and homeschooling all while remaining sane!

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