I was a Better Mom…before I had Kids

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I have always loved kids. I always wanted to be a Mom. I always wanted to be a teacher. So when we decided to homeschool our children, it really did seem like a natural fit for me. However, after 4+ years of homeschooling, I think it’s safe to say, “I was a much better Mom…beforeI had kids.” A friend of mine said this on her status on Facebook the other day and it really got me thinking.

Have you ever looked at a Mom and thought, "That is NOT how she should be parenting." I have...before I had kids.

I lovedthe show “Little House on the Prairie” and wanted to be just like Caroline. She was always so calm, put together and the best mother to her kids. She was just amazing to me. She cooked meals from scratch in that tiny kitchen and never complained. Her kids obeyed her most of the time without too much complaining. And I just knew someday, my life was going to be just as wonderful.

Let’s be real, before I became a Mom, I knew everything there was to know about raising kids. They need love, structure and discipline. If I gave them all those things, life would be blissful – just like Caroline’s.


I couldn’t have been more wrong. Now don’t misunderstand me…I am blessed to have four amazing kiddos, but they are just that – kids. They have struggles and issues that need worked on just like anyone else. So in the nature of full-disclosure and so you don’t go thinking I have it all together – here is our real life.

  • My 9-year old has mastered the fine art of back-talking
  • My 5-year old has frequent meltdowns
  • My 4-year old still sleeps with her paci
  • My 3-year old is not potty-trained *gasp*
  • My girls don’t like to wear those super cute hair bows that I dreamed of they would wear all the time
  • My boys hate vegetables. Like seriously despise them
  • My Littles refuse to stay in their own beds at night
  • None of my kids walk through the house, despite daily (and sometimes hourly) reminders
  • My 9-year old could eat his weight in carbs every day
  • My 5-year old only likes pizza, chicken nuggets and french fries
  • My 4-year old doesn’t like meat and frequently trades her nuggets for french fries
  • My 3-year old would eat all day long, if I let her
  • Their rooms are rarely clean – unless I clean them
  • They do not think the “clean up game” is fun and like a “Spoonful of Sugar”
  • They do not willingly do chores when asked
  • The laundry spends more time on the couch than in the closets
  • Despite several attempts – cooking is not my favorite. I don’t know if I thought this would magically change once I got married and had kids, but it didn’t.
  • I am not a morning person, so of course the Lord gave me early risers
  • Discipline is tougher than it sounds. It takes hard work, consistency and perseverance. None of which I am good at.
  • Building and teaching Biblical character is even harder than it sounds!!

So there ya have it. Our life is a mess. My kids are kids and we are working on things little by little. But, they are still kids.

I am sure many people judge me as we go out in public, because I was once that judgmental person. I had all the answers for parenthood. I knew how to be a better mom and “if they only…” crossed my mind manytimes. I am so thankful the Lord has given me new eyes to see the error of my judgmental ways.

How foolish I was to think I knew how to be a better Mom than the one God gave them. Note: I’m not talking about those who abuse or neglect their children. I’m talking about those who are trying to honor God and do the best they can for their own children and allowing God to guide them in this journey called parenthood.

Most days I am a bumbling mess. My kids are a mess, my house is a mess and frankly my life is a mess. However, I remember God’s promises that He has given me these children for a reason and if I rely on Him daily – He will get me through this journey called parenthood. It’s not easy and most days I wake up needing grace from my Heavenly Father, before I even get out of bed!

So the next time you see that precious Mom with her children – whether one or ten – be patient, kind and understanding. Believe that she is doing the best she knows how. Everyone has a different parenting style, a different idea of what’s best for their family and kids.

Offer to help her.

Be kind to her.

And pray for her.

Blessings dear Moms!

Now it’s your turn! What’s your biggest confession about parenting, Moms?

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Hi, there! I’m Heather Bowen, and I am so glad you’re here.

My passion lies in helping homeschool moms balance marriage, motherhood, homemaking, and homeschooling all while remaining sane!

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