Living Intentionally Challenge:Day 7 – Being an Intentional Wife

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As we are moving into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s important to remember where our priorities lie.

Without prior knowledge, we suddenly find our calendars filled up. We must not forget the lessons we’ve already learned in our quest to live more intentional lives.

Just a quick recap, we started the challenge with learning to live intentionally by simplifying our lives. Beginning with decluttering our surroundings, then decluttering our calendars and lastly decluttering our minds.

Then, we focused on becoming an intentional Christian by putting God first, and by being the hands and feet of Christ.

Now, we are going to switch gears a little bit and learn to be an intentional wife.

Marriage isn’t something that can sustain itself.

It takes a constant effort each and everyday.

Ladies- we can’t become complacent in our roles as wives. Satan is prowling. He is waiting for that moment when we let our guard down and he can slip in.

We must be intentional.

Next to being a Daughter of the King, our most important title is “wife”.

Many times throughout the almost eight years (next week!) of my married life, I’ve struggled most with keeping my roles in the correct order.

First and foremost, I belong to Christ.

Then, I am my his wife.

And then I am their mother.

When I start to get these out of order is when my life spirals out of control.

You see, I can’t be the best mother to my children if I’m not putting my relationship with their father first.

This requires me to be an intentional wife, and that isn’t as easy as it sounds.

As homeschooling mothers it is so easy for us to pour our hearts and souls so completely into our children that by that by the end of the day, we have nothing left for our husbands.

Can I let you in on a little secret, Moms?

This is what our Enemy hopes for. He banks on the fact that mothers will give their all to their kids to the point that the marriage will crumble. And when the marriage falls apart, Satan has a better shot at your children.

You see, the Enemy is crafty. He knows how to blindside us.  He can use something as innocent as our desires to be  good mothers to wreck havoc on our marriages.

So what do we do?

1.  Get our priorities in line.

  • God first.
  • Husband second.
  • Children third.
2.  Make time for your marriage.
  • Children need bedtimes. Mommy and Daddy need alone time everyday. Time to talk. Time to connect. 
  • You know your schedules. Where can you fit in daily one on one time with your husband? Could you enjoy morning coffee/devotion time together? Could you have at home lunch dates?
3.  Make date night a priority!
4.  Find a hobby you both enjoy.
  • Do you like dancing? Hiking? Cooking? Shopping? 
  • Even mundane chores are more fun when you’re with your best friend. Cook dinner together, fold laundry together. Make the most of the time you have.
5.  Declutter your calendar. (Here we go again!)
  • What commitments can you eliminate for the sake of spending more time with your spouse?
6.  Plan a weekend away together sans kids every year. It is simply amazing what two short days of alone time can do for your marriage. Start planning and saving now! It’s worth it.
7.  S*x is good, healthy and NEEDED.
(I have no problem writing out the word, however Google will mark this website as inappropriate if it is spelled out.)
  • Being intimate with your spouse is truly a gift from God.
  • S*x is a very basic human desire and need. Ladies, don’t ignore the advances of your husband. He needs you.

Where do you struggle most in being an intentional wife?

Today’s Challenge: Find thirty minutes today to spend totally focused on your husband. 

Learning to Live Intentionally Challenge


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This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Thank you so much for taking time out of your already busy day to write these thought out for us. These thoughts are great reminders of how to keep our lives organized. May God continue to bless you and others as they allow the spirit to work on their hearts as they read you blog.

  2. Very good post Heather! I struggle (both of us really with busy schedules which include long work hours and a long commute each way) with us making time together to be alone. Lately my little Bear has actually been getting more possesive with my time than ever before and just this morning I gave her a lecture on how Daddy is my best friend and how I need to spend time with him alone and night time is one of those times.

    Its so easy to be wrapped up in life that we forget to live it….

  3. Hi Heather! I’m in love with this post so much that I’ve featured it this week for Matrimonial Monday. Amazing reminder that I think we could all use. Thank you for joining us!

  4. Good stuff, Heather! Found you at Matrimonial Monday– keep up the good work!

  5. Another great post girly! I love your stance on being a wife first before a mother. This is something I struggle with daily, my kiddos seem to fight constantly (9 & 7 yrs) and by the end of my day I’m exhausted and so is he. It leaves very little time for us. Thank you so much for your encouragement and for linking up at Simply Helping Him! Blessings!

    1. Misty- Oh girl, do I feel your pain! My girls are 7 and 8 and it seems like lately they have done NOTHING but fight. It is absolutely exhausting. Prayers for you!!

  6. “Ladies, don’t ignore the advances of your husband.” And make a few advances yourself from time to time!

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Hi, there! I’m Heather Bowen, and I am so glad you’re here.

My passion lies in helping homeschool moms balance marriage, motherhood, homemaking, and homeschooling all while remaining sane!

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