Are you having trouble finding value in homemaking?
Let’s face it, life as a stay-at-home-mom, or homemaker, can be lonely. Add in homeschooling, and your days are spent having conversations with grade-schoolers and vacuuming between the couch cushions. We all have times we feel frustrated with our role at home, especially when we feel that our efforts as a stay at home mother and wife go unnoticed.
I’ll admit, I have a wonderfully supportive husband, but he has little idea what I do all day with our four children. It's hard to explain that much of my day is spent teaching little kids the life skills they need to become successful and compassionate adults.
I teach them not to chew with their mouthes open, and the importance of showing kindness to others. But my husband can’t see that at the end of the day. There is no lemon fresh smell that tells him our daughter complimented her brother for the first time after days of sibling rivalry. He has no idea that just an hour before he walked in from a long day of doing his own work, the kids had covered themselves in paint and wiped their hands on the walls…. And he shouldn’t. I’m not asking to receive a gold star for being a wife and mother. But I often find myself frustrated that he expects to see the clean home and tired-out kids when he arrives home each evening.
Is being frustrated with our role as homemakers a reflection of how we value our role?
During times of frustration, I remind myself that there are many things we do as homeschooling moms, homemakers, and wives that go mostly un-noticed. But that doesn't mean they aren't important.
Like sharing in the moments of small triumphs our children experience. We notice those triumphs because it is our job to interpret the look in our child's eyes when they've overcome an obstacle.
Like guiding our children in the feeling of emotions, and managing those emotions. We talk them through angry outbursts, and hug them tight while they cry. We create rules to manage rude behavior, and follow through in teaching a lesson, even when it hurts us to do so.
As moms, we instill our values in our children, and hopefully, give them the confidence to choose their own values carefully. Throughout our day at home we model compassion, strength, and dignity. Our children see our happiness, our frustration, and our sadness. And sometimes, when life gets really difficult, we shield our children from the things in life that are just too much for their little emotions to bear. So we lock ourselves in the bathroom and we cry quiet tears.
Your role as a homemaker is important because you are in charge of creating the home.
In our stress of tackling the daily laundry, it's forgotten that we are the ones who wash the blankies that are cuddled so fiercely. As we scrub the bathtub we fail to think about the soapy hair of a toddler. The sippy cups that we toss into the dishwasher will be gone too soon, but we have these moments forever in our mind. As homemakers, stay-at-home-moms, and homeschoolers, these are our moments, and they're not there for others to notice.